If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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