1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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