I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And then my night got REAL pukey
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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