a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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