'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
