AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
