all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize