Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
