Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
