Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
