Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize