idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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