She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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