dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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