I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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