after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
