I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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