You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize