Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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