he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
