I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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