I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
