dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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