Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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