i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
