I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
