You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No I am not eating basil off your cock
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
