ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
