You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
