i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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