Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
