I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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