how can u be prego again
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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