I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
