i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
