We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
