I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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