Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
