Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
