Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
