Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize