I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
