I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
