guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
