I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
