D3 body, D1 cock
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Less talking, more tequila
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
