Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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