just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
