I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
