I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
accomplished twins. life is a go
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Randomize