i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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