I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
