I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
