Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
