Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize