Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
