hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
