All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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