Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
