508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
