Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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