i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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